Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Windex Incident

It was pretty early in the morning and the kids got into my childproof cleaning supply cabinet (Terry & I were still lying in bed, but we were awake, I swear). I am always telling them how that stuff is poison, and it will make them very sick. I guess she was spraying the outside of the tank (like I clean it), and one of the kids (I'm still unsure which one) unscrewed the lid and dumped 1/2 a bottle of Windex in the fish tank. Max screamed that Tessa was killing her fish, so I ran in there, saw what happened, ran out, grabbed a bowl, filled it with water, and tried to rescue the few that were still alive. They were all dead before I could even get them out.

So R.I.P. to:
And the nameless red head fish that died earlier that week.

Jacque had died the day before, and we were really worried that Tessa would notice because she loved her 'scary fish'. I was going to go get a replacement the day that all the fishes died. I was so mad, both kids spent the entire morning in their rooms because they had broken the law by playing with poison. Plus, I was super McPissed-Off, because I had redone the tank with new rocks and whatnot that was so cute. Tessa's fish tank was looking pretty awesome and they killed it.

My poor fish, it was an instant death. I think I cried.

So then I kind of freak out because children who kill animals are more likely to grow up to be adults who kill people; then I realized that I'm a freak, and my kids just like to dump shit. Leave a bottle of shampoo where Max can reach it? Into the tub it goes. It doesn't matter how many times we scold him, he just doesn't get it. It's like when someone puts a bottle of Absolut in front of me. I. must. drink. the. Absolut.

A couple of days after it happened, I told Tessa to tell a family friend what happened to her fish. I expected a sorry reply, like when she told my mom that she had died her fish and we flushed them down the toilet. At least then she was a bit sad. Not now though, this time she said in her wicked voice "I killed em so I could get an OCTOPUS." She told Terry she wanted an octopus "Because it be scary to YOU!"

So now the tank is mine, in the kitchen, and the kids can't touch. It's driving them crazy, but it's teaching them quite the lesson. Especially since I put a little frog in there.

Monday, August 08, 2005


Rest In Peace Peter Jennings. So sad.

On an entirely different note....

Vote Kaysar!

Why in the hell do I keep having dreams/nightmares about my a particular girl from high school that I can't stand and the guy I used to "go with" in 5th grade?

Why do I keep dreaming about waterslides?

AND Why am I always trying to find something in my dreams? I spend all night looking for something that I've lost...only to wake up exhausted.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Updating for the Sake of Updating

I haven't been on vacation, I haven't been sick, I just don't know why I haven't been updating. I've just been busy watching my kids grow like weeds. For instance: MY BABY GIRL.


She'll be 3 on Saturday. She still lets me hold her and rock her and she says she's my baby, but she's about 34 pounds and hard to swaddle. Plus, she talks, and talks, and talks. I love to hear her chattering, but her little voice can be quite high pitched and LOUD. I wish she had a volume button so I could turn her down just a tad.

Or put her on mute when she throws her horrid temper tantrums.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Mish-mash of Stuff

I can't believe how much I've been slacking on this thing....one entry in June? That's so weak....I have excuses, but I'm not going to waste my time with them.

Anywho, Sista Sara had her ultrasound today, and it's another girl! We all thought she was having a boy, just because her pregnancy has been so different than her pregnancy with Cora. Another girl to spoil! Maybe this one will have her curly hair?

Misty Dawn had her baby boy, Ian Payton, on June 14. 7 lbs. 4 oz., 20 inches long. He's 2 weeks old today, and last time I talked to her they were all doing wonderfully.

Tootie had kittens. The look on Tessa's face the first time she saw them was priceless. That kid loves cats. And flowers. She walks through the flower beds when we are outside and says "You like MY pink flowers, momma?". I love the pink flowers, Tess, and I think it's hilarious that because they are pink they are automatically yours, in your mind.

We've been living it up lately with after work & weekend activities. We went to the State Park last weekend for a picnic and swimming, and Tessa couldn't get enough of the big waterslide. Max liked it too, but it took him a couple of hours before he would go down himself. Of course, we had to go see Herbie: Fully Loaded last weekend. Max LOVED that. It was OK for a Herbie movie, I guess.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

My Slugger = My Sweetheart

Max's first season of T-ball is this summer. We are about halfway through the season now, and I can't believe how much improvement I've seen from him. He actually threw the ball last night, and another kid caught it! I don't expect much. The poor kid inherited Terry's coordination and my rhythm, so he doesn't have a chance.

Well, maybe he does. He hit a nice pop fly last night, past the infield, almost to the grass. Everyone cheered! Run, Max Run! He makes it to first, standing directly on top of the base, turns to look at me, Terry, my mom, and mother-in-law with the biggest grin ever; then he blew us a kiss.

That's my baby.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

No babies, Momma

Tessa LOVES cats. She chases our cat, Tootie, around the garage until she catches her and will pet her for hours on end. Our neighbors have kittens that I use as bribery to get Tessa to let me wash her hair without having a total meltdown. I let her play with the kittens, she doesn't throw a tantrum when I wash her hair. Easy enough, eh?

Tess was playing with Tootie a couple of days ago and it resulted in the following conversation.

ME: Tessa, be very, very careful when you hold Tootie. You have to be gentle.
TESS: OK Momma.
ME: Tess, did you know that Tootie is going to have babies?
TESS: NO Momma. Tootie is a CAT, she can't have BABIES.
ME: Oh, I'm sorry, she is going to have baby cats, and we will have Kitties.
TESS: YEAH Momma, Tootie will have baby cats. They are KITTENS Momma.

She's such a smart little sassy girl. I have a feeling that she's going to be my heathen child. Can't you just see the wickedness in her eyes?
Fire & Tess 007

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Come to Momma....

Or even better (but not nearly big enough).....

Photos courtesy of Yahoo TV

I'm dying for the finale tonight!

The Graduates

Max graduated from Pre-Kindergarten last Monday. Thankfully, I had sit through two practice sessions of the graduation ceremony, so I didn't bawl my eyes out. I had some difficulty maneuvering a camera and a camcorder at the same time, but I think I pulled it off. Why, oh why can't Terry learn to use one of these things? Anywho, a picture of my baby boy....
Graduation 050

Max isn't the only graduate this year. Mother-in-law, a.k.a. Brenda, a.k.a. Meemaw, graduated with an Associates Degree in Business Management (HIGH HONORS!!!) on May 7th. I didn't get to sit through any practice for her ceremony, so I bawled like a baby at her graduation. The woman sitting next to me even asked who I was there for and when I said my mother-in-law, she looked shocked and said "That is so sweet!". Most people aren't into their in-laws like I am into mine. Here she is for the internet world to see, along with Grandma Jean and Brenda's hot sister Angie. I want Angie's boobs. I am not a lesbian.
Graduation 018

The kids got bored, so after Brenda received her diploma, we wandered outside and Terry let the kids play in the fountain. As cute as it was, I had to play mean mom and drag them away.
Graduation 009

Of course, what would a graduation ceremony be without some good pictures of a drunk? I don't know if I've ever mentioned that my husband can fall asleep anywhere, and I mean anywhere! After MIL's graduation, we went to Hacienda for some margaritas. Terry and I split a liter, meaning I had one glass and he finished the liter. Hence, he woke up in the hatch of my car about an hour after we got home. (He couldn't find anywhere else to lie down in the car. Thank goodness we didn't get rear-ended.)
Graduation 019 Graduation 020
Yes, that's a toothpick in his mouth. The boy is a true hillbilly.