Thursday, February 24, 2005

Out of the Mouths of 5 Year Old Boys

Warning: The following conversation contains a discussion of very stinky poop.

Earlier this week, I was sitting on the toilet in peace and Max barges in.

MAX: MOM! Daddy needs toilet paper.
ME: Tell daddy I just put some in his bathroom, and if it was a snake it would bite him.
MAX: NO, Daddy needs toilet paper because he's poopin'.
ME: Just a minute & I'll get it. I'm thinking: Dumbass Terry, just look. I just put 2 rolls behind the trash can.

I give Max the toilet paper and he stomps into Terry's bathroom. I proceed to get ready for work. Terry comes into my bathroom, I'm thinking: God, could I just have some peace here? and that's when the smell from his bathroom hit me. GAG. So he told me about his conversation with Max.

MAX: Daddy, did you poop?
TERRY: Yes buddy, everybody poops.
TERRY: I did buddy.

Max stomps off, and that's when he came into my bathroom and asked for toilet paper. He returns to Terry's bathroom with the toilet paper. HE'S HOLDING HIS NOSE.

MAX: Mommy said to wipe your butt.
TERRY: I'm sorry Max. Why don't you go downstairs with Tessa?
MAX: (He's still holding his nose). Daddy! THIS IS GROSS. I'm going to throw up because of your STANK!

And that's when Terry almost put out his eye with his moustache scissors. You just never know what will come out of the mouth of a 5 year old boy.

An Entry That I Started Almost 2 Weeks Ago

February 11, 2005
We have 3 infected ears in our house right now. I try to remember how lucky I am when one of the kids gets sick. I mean, they are pretty healthy overall, just a couple of colds here & there and a guaranteed bout with a nasty stomach virus at least once every six months. I did have to make TWO trips to town yesterday since Max waited until I was on my way back from the doctor's office before he started screaming that his ear hurt too. I asked him before I took Tess in, and he swore that he felt all better. Go figure.

Then I think about Kim & Lily, and suddenly a cold or an ear infection is nothing at all. Or Sandra, my favorite Breast Cancer survivor in the whole world. And I feel like such a wuss.

February 24, 2005
I just came back from lunch (lunch being a trip to Target, which seems to be the norm these days). I was told that one of our guys had made it through his procedure and was now in recovery. When they did the surgery, 2 malignant tumors were found. He has been given his first dose of chemotherapy already. I feel like I'm going to just throw up.

I talked to him yesterday afternoon, and I think he knew something was really wrong. I just thought he was afraid of someone sticking a camera/laser up his pee pee. I can't help but giggle when I think about him asking me, "do you know how they have to go in to look at your bladder when you're a guy!?!". I responded with "your pee hole?". I told him he would be fine, and he looked at me really seriously and said "I don't know, that's my, my, you know". Poor guy.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Hot Lips

Hot Lips
Originally uploaded by kchanley.
I have this as my wallpaper on my computer and I just crack up every time I look at it.

This photo was taken by Sista Sara, taken at Cora's First Birthday party last Saturday. Cora is a Valentine's Day baby, so there was a Valentine Theme.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The States

bold the states you've been to, color the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire/ New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C.

From Kelwhy.

Self Portrait Day, Part II

Originally uploaded by kchanley.
Cheesy, but I kept it because I only had one chin showing in this one.

It's Self Portrait Day!

Self-Portrait Attempt
Originally uploaded by kchanley.
Of course I found out when I read dooce, the blog of all blogs. I just happened to find a couple of pictures I took of myself while fiddling with the settings on my digital camera.

The kids weren't cooperating (see hand), so I had to use myself as a subject.


I was fortunate enough to be able to go to school with Max on Monday for his Valentine's Party. He wanted me to stay all day, so I did. Tanner may have had Incredible Hulk Smartie dispensers, but Max had his mom and nothing made him happier. He was so sweet, he got me a drink and a napkin at lunchtime, showed me where the bathroom was (because I had to use the Girls), and made sure everyone knew that THE MOM was there for the day. He even won the game of musical chairs. We both had a great time.

He will also be starting T-Ball in May. I hope he likes it. Terry's promised to practice with him as soon as it gets nice outside.

Yesterday it was close to 70 degrees outside and it was beautiful. Today it's 40 degrees, but some of my flowers are popping out of the ground so spring is just around the corner! I can't wait. We are getting French Doors to replace the back door (late housewarming gift from the IL's), and I'm trying to talk Terry into painting the outside of the house this summer. That IS what he does for a living, there's no reason why our house should have a crappy paint job. BUT, when he paints, I'm pulling the nasty bushes out of the front of the house, the ones that say "This house was built in 1975 & these bushes were never trimmed on a regular basis so now they are huge square globs of blah hanging over the front steps". Then I will have to come up with some sort of landscape plan. Probably one that I could never afford.

One last thing. I tried a tanning lotion with 'tingle' and all I have to say is 'tingle', my ass! That shit felt like I had little pieces of glass digging into my skin for about an hour. I'm told that after a couple of uses it doesn't feel like glass anymore, and I did notice a difference in my tan.

That's all for now.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Trapped In The Body of an Old Lady

Results from Bloodwork: Cholesterol=High, Bad Cholesterol=High, Thyroid Function=Low, Blood Pressure=Still High, but getting better. How old am I again?

Thursday, February 03, 2005

I Think I Should be Breathing Into a Paper Bag

I feel like I'm having a little heart attack right now. My babies are babies no more.

I called the elementary school to verify that Max was on the list for fall kindergarten, and he was. I talked to the nurse about his health (great), forms, and school hours. I'm going to try for the morning class so I can get him on the School Bus. ACK! I'm going to put my baby on a school bus. Did they ever put seat belts in those things?

Tessa has been wearing panties! Her "Kee-Cats" are her favorites, and she has to show EVERYONE. She's doing really well, I'm so proud of her. Less diapers, but so much more toilet paper. We're working on that part.

I know I'm totally jinxing myself by saying this, but Max stayed in his bed last night. All night. I made a huge deal out of it this morning, all Hail the Big Boy! I haven't pushed too awful hard to get him out of our bed, I don't mind sleeping like a big pile of puppies if it makes the kids feel secure.

Tessa let me swaddle her (with a huge blanket) and rock her last night. She was playing 'baby', which is really odd. Lately, we've been playing Barbies, and makeup! She loves her makeup (chapstick & makeup brushes) and thinks its the best thing in the world when I give her a dab of lotion for her legs or use my nail buffer on those itty bitty fingernails. My little princess.

Where did my babies go?

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

One Hundred Things About Me....

1. I could eat the skin off an entire turkey.
2. I'd be really sick if I did.
3. I had mono when I was 15.
4. I was in the hospital, I was so sick.
5. They put me on steroids, in an orange room, with only an orchestra on television. It was horrible.
6. I went to a Catholic grade school.
7. I'm now a non-practicing Catholic.
8. I got married when I was 23.
9. I love 80's music.
10. I was crazy in love with Michael Jackson, back in the Thriller days.
11. I grew up on a farm.
12. I'm the oldest of 3 children.
13. I once made my brother eat a cherry tomato and he puked.
14. Tomatoes are my favorite food.
15. But I hate Ketchup.
16. And salad dressing.
17. My first year of college was awful.
18. I get homesick. That's probably why I had a hard time my first year of college.
19. I'm always reading something, cereal boxes, junk mail, anything that's in front of me.
20. I have 20 first cousins.
21. My extended family still gathers every Holiday.
22. I have 2 brothers, no sisters.
23. I lived on the same street my whole life, until May 2004.
24. My mother and mother-in-law are both named Brenda.
25. I currently live next door to my In-Laws.
26. It's a bit like Everybody Loves Raymond.
27. I attended the college for Gifted & Talented Youth for 2 weeks in 1996.
28. I skipped second grade.
29. I love Sister Irma, my first grade teacher. She was the best teacher I ever had.
30. I hate wearing shoes.
31. I can tolerate boots in the winter though.
32. I love John Cusack.
33. I have a poster of him in my office. Sista Sara & Sista Kara gave it to me for my 30th birthday.
34. I like my Sister-in-laws. A lot. We have all kinds of fun together.
35. I take anti-depressants.
36. I realized after I started taking them, that I've had a depression problem for awhile. Probably since high school.
37. I'm glad I'm done with high school, it sucked pretty bad.
38. I'm anti-Barbie.
39. I will let Tessa play with Barbies if she wants to.
40. I wish I kept in touch with more of my grade school friends.
41. I call myself an Independent, but I'm really a Democrat.
42. If my dad reads this, I might be written out of the will.
43. My cousin Amy died when she was 11 from Muscular Dystrophy.
44. She was the local Poster Child for the Labor Day Telethon, 2 years.
45. My cousins & I collected over $500.00 for MDA by going door to door and collecting at church.
46. That was a huge amount of money for a couple of kids.
47. I still watch the MDA Telethon every year.
48. I read the entire set of Childcraft books when I was in 4th grade. (maybe 3rd?)
49. I read the entire Little House on the Prairie series over Christmas Break one year.
50. I used to read in bed every night.
51. I melted part of a pillow twice by falling asleep with my reading lamp that was attached to my headboard on.
52. Now I sleep with the TV on.
53. I get up between 2 and 4 times a night to pee, get a drink, or sometimes a snack. Every night.
54. I live in a Brady Bunch Tri-Level.
55. I have a green tub and a yellow shower, not by choice. They came with the house.
56. I also have a blue toilet, but that's cool because Laurie's parents have a blue toilet too.
57. I just realized I've had this in my drafts since November, and I'm only to 57.