Thursday, May 26, 2005

No babies, Momma

Tessa LOVES cats. She chases our cat, Tootie, around the garage until she catches her and will pet her for hours on end. Our neighbors have kittens that I use as bribery to get Tessa to let me wash her hair without having a total meltdown. I let her play with the kittens, she doesn't throw a tantrum when I wash her hair. Easy enough, eh?

Tess was playing with Tootie a couple of days ago and it resulted in the following conversation.

ME: Tessa, be very, very careful when you hold Tootie. You have to be gentle.
TESS: OK Momma.
ME: Tess, did you know that Tootie is going to have babies?
TESS: NO Momma. Tootie is a CAT, she can't have BABIES.
ME: Oh, I'm sorry, she is going to have baby cats, and we will have Kitties.
TESS: YEAH Momma, Tootie will have baby cats. They are KITTENS Momma.

She's such a smart little sassy girl. I have a feeling that she's going to be my heathen child. Can't you just see the wickedness in her eyes?
Fire & Tess 007

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Come to Momma....



Or even better (but not nearly big enough).....


Photos courtesy of Yahoo TV

I'm dying for the finale tonight!

The Graduates

Max graduated from Pre-Kindergarten last Monday. Thankfully, I had sit through two practice sessions of the graduation ceremony, so I didn't bawl my eyes out. I had some difficulty maneuvering a camera and a camcorder at the same time, but I think I pulled it off. Why, oh why can't Terry learn to use one of these things? Anywho, a picture of my baby boy....
Graduation 050

Max isn't the only graduate this year. Mother-in-law, a.k.a. Brenda, a.k.a. Meemaw, graduated with an Associates Degree in Business Management (HIGH HONORS!!!) on May 7th. I didn't get to sit through any practice for her ceremony, so I bawled like a baby at her graduation. The woman sitting next to me even asked who I was there for and when I said my mother-in-law, she looked shocked and said "That is so sweet!". Most people aren't into their in-laws like I am into mine. Here she is for the internet world to see, along with Grandma Jean and Brenda's hot sister Angie. I want Angie's boobs. I am not a lesbian.
Graduation 018

The kids got bored, so after Brenda received her diploma, we wandered outside and Terry let the kids play in the fountain. As cute as it was, I had to play mean mom and drag them away.
Graduation 009

Of course, what would a graduation ceremony be without some good pictures of a drunk? I don't know if I've ever mentioned that my husband can fall asleep anywhere, and I mean anywhere! After MIL's graduation, we went to Hacienda for some margaritas. Terry and I split a liter, meaning I had one glass and he finished the liter. Hence, he woke up in the hatch of my car about an hour after we got home. (He couldn't find anywhere else to lie down in the car. Thank goodness we didn't get rear-ended.)
Graduation 019 Graduation 020
Yes, that's a toothpick in his mouth. The boy is a true hillbilly.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I have Lust in my heart....

I'm still cooling off from last night's Lost episode. Sawyer, Sawyer, Sawyer.

Monday, May 09, 2005

The One Where I Totally Go Ape-Shit

It'll be OK, I have an appointment with a therapist this afternoon. Thank goodness. I've been waiting for months to talk to this guy, the entire Tri-State area must need therapy.

Terry was a total Dickhead on Mother's Day. I'm so tired of all this wallering (excuse the farmer slang) in MISERY that's been going on. MIL's brother passed away a week and a half ago, and we are all sad and he will be missed, but the man was so SICK. He's had a brain tumor for 20 years. Over the past couple of years, he's be going down really quick. He couldn't walk or feed himself and was in so much pain. My mom says "there's worse things than death" and I experienced it first hand when I walked in that hospice room 2 weeks ago.

MIL graduated from college on Saturday, I was so proud of her - I cried! She was too upset (from her brother's death) to celebrate with a party, but she wouldn't even have a margarita with me. I was so disappointed, after almost 6 years of hard work, she wouldn't even have a margarita.

Which reminds me of the Hacienda billboard that has a salt shaker and lime on it. It says "Tequila, it's what's for dinner". Yeah, that's what I'm thinking!

Max has his Pre-K graduation next Monday. deep breath, deep breath He made me the most beautiful flower pot EVER for Mother's Day. I can't believe how big he is. I couldn't be prouder of him, he's so sweet and polite. Well, most of the time. He has his first T-Ball practice Wednesday night. I hope he enjoys it.

Tessa has been Tessa. I think she's going to be my little farm girl. She helped me plant some seeds (Zinnias, Cosmos, and Strawflowers), and she's so proud of how they are growing. I've given her a spray bottle filled with water so she can water them herself without overdoing it.

As soon as Terry gets Max's garden area tilled up, we are going to have a Pumpkin Patch. Max is pretty excited about that, we have every variety of Pumpkin & Gourd imaginable, but most importantly, we have BIG MAX pumpkins. Hopefully we will get that planted next weekend.

Oh gosh, I guess that's all for now. I didn't go totally ape-shit, either. Much better than yesterday when I just sat and cried because I didn't feel like I was being the best mom I could be.

P.S. Place your bets, the big ultrasound is today!